Memo from a Child to Parents



      From: a Child

      To:     Parents


  • Donít spoil me. I know quite well that I ought not to have all I ask for Ė Iím only testing you.

  • Donít be afraid to be firm with me. I prefer it and it makes me feel secure.

  • Donít let me form bad habits. I have to rely on you to detect them in the early stages.

  • Donít make me feel smaller than I am. It only makes me behave stupidly ďbigĒ.

  • Donít correct me in front of people if you can help it. Iíll take much more notice if you talk quietly with me in private.

  • Donít make me feel that my mistakes are sins. It upsets my sense of value.

  • Donít protect me from consequences. I need to learn the hard way sometimes.

  • Donít be upset when I say ďI hate youĒ. Sometimes it isnít you I hate but your power to thwart me.

  • Donít take too much notice of my small ailments. Sometimes they get me the attention I need.

  • Donít nag. If you do, I shall have to protect myself by appearing deaf.

  • Donít forget that I cannot explain myself as well as I should. This is why I am not always accurate.

  • Donít put me off when I ask questions. If you do, you will find that Iíll stop asking and Iíll seek my information elsewhere.

  • Donít be inconsistent. That completely confuses me and makes me lose faith in you.

  • Donít tell me my fears are silly. They are terribly real and you can do much to reassure me if you try to understand.

  • Donít ever suggest that you are perfect or infallible. It gives me too great a shock when I discover that you are neither.

  • Donít ever think that it is beneath to apologize to me. An honest apology makes me fell surprisingly warm towards you.

  • Donít forget that I love experimenting. I couldnít get along without it, so please put up with it.

  • Donít forget how quickly Iím growing up. It must be very difficult for you to keep pace with me, but do try.

  • Donít forget that I donít thrive without lots of love and understanding, but I donít need to tell you, do I?

  • Please keep yourself fit and healthy. I need you.